User blog:96crisadi/The Fall of the Mighty United States of America
This is the story of the last 6 years in the history of USA. T'Was the year 2001. I was elected to be president of the greatest Superpower in the world. My attention was directed towards the filthy, Communist-riddled dump known as China. These commie bastards got on my nerves for the simple fact that they were still breathing. I couldn't stand them. I wanted them out of the way. Cue the Big Red Button. Hundreds of nukes, all destroying China and its residents. I was too corrupted by the madness to realize that I have just caused the death of 1.4 Billion, (mostly) innocent people. Nevertheless, the rest of the World didn't like this extreme action one bit, and even moreso due to the stupid reason that I hated China (though I don't really), so they all went against me. "All 5 Billion of you against the greatest country in the world? Hah! Good luck even getting close to me!" -my last daring words while still in the White House Japan was first to take any military-related action against me, starting with mobilizing their troops onto American ground. The first wave has been defeated. Now that things seemed safe enough I ordered the manufacturing of a few more hundred nukes and the research of Nuclear Weapons. That was the fatal mistake. Our funds quickly dissipated, and the crowd of people were most certainly not happy with a Chinese wasteland caused by simple hatred towards them commie bastards. To make matters worse, poor military management meant that I lost basically all troops and units. Japan then did the unthinkable: They. Took Over. The United States. For a bloody awful 14 months, economy was a word banned in the dictionary. Then the Japanese lost interest and left, giving me a second chance at retaking control over the USA and restabilizing the Economy. Hah! Those fools! I will send my condolences to their blind, soon-to-be-dead wives! I ordered the construction of so many nukes I could not bother to count them and launched them. Those poor bastards. It's Hiroshima and Nagasaki all over again (the bloody irony is even stronger due to the fact that I killed them with nukes called "Fat Man"). "Uh-oh, we're running quite low on money here." "Ah, balls! They're coming again!" "Send in the tanks!" "Sir, what tanks?" So I had almost no defense against them, and they took over my country again - this time, with help from the Middle East. This was bad. Very bad. They are taking over the States once more, the public is crazy and the money is almost gone. "Just... Make 40 more nukes." 22 were launched back towards Japan. But the United States has become the equivalent of a mortally ill dog with no more stomach. I had to put it out of its misery. /presses The Big Red Button All 18 nukes rained down from the Heavens, decimating the cities. OVER /some bullcrap related to the economy not working Yep. Edit: Fuck, I also killed it on the 4th of July. HALLO. ICH HEISSE KARTOFFEL. 22:37, July 3, 2012 (UTC) Category:Blog posts